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07 June 2011 @ 03:33 am
am i really posting here after it's been over a year? i guess i am, yeah.


what a surprise, we moved again. this time, we're living in a house in hatfield with robert and stacey and sometimes laura. we moved in just before new years day, and it's been pretty great. i'd even go so far as to say it's the best living situation that james and i have ever been in. the four (sometimes five) of us live in fantastic harmony. it's like a family where you actually get to pick your relatives! now, i know that we move a lot more than most people, but i really hope this lasts, because i just love my housemates. and our cats. and the fact that our house is basically the hub and meeting-place of our entire group of friends. and having awesome jam sessions in the basement.

life is good.

i'm still working at wawa. it's a job, not much to say about it. i make sandwiches for people. some customers are great, some absolutely suck, most of them are completely forgettable. james is still working at adult world.

the 'L' key on my keyboard has decided that it will only work when it damn well pleases. i, however, am persistent and i flatly refuse to allow misspelled words in my entries. i don't care whatsoever about capitalization and grammar, but damn it, my spelling will always be impeccable.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: the smashing pumpkins - porcelina of the vast oceans
24 May 2010 @ 05:38 pm
what's up, i'm here!

okay, i'm going to try and get out a quick entry while i'm on a friend's comp...

so here's what has happened since i came back to PA:

we moved in with our friend melissa in chalfont, and lived in the middle of nowhere in "shared space" bliss for about half a year.

while living there, i got a job at wawa (a local convenience store chain, for you non-PA folks). james got a job at adult world (a sex shop).

we bought my cousin's car, a robin's egg blue 1995 dodge neon that has been being passed around in my family since it was new.

after a little while, we decided that since we're married, we should have our own place, so we found a cute little apartment in the middle of lansdale. hooray, civilization again! actually, it was the same apartment we were in a few years before. (remember the fire on christmas eve '07?) it was easy to get because we were already in good favor with the landlord. when you're poor, you can't exactly afford to be choosy, people. the place was fixed up all nice-like, with new carpets and ceiling tiles and state-of-the-art fire alarm system. we moved in there on may 1st, and haven't had the internet since, because we can't afford it. the rent here is twice the rent we were paying in chalfont.

a week ago, we were rear-ended by an unobservant soccer mom driving an SUV. we were okay, we just had some whiplash and were prescribed some fun painkillers and muscle relaxers. luckily, the other driver's insurance covers our loss of income, since we were out of work for a few days. but our poor baby is totaled, despite still being drivable. and so ends the life of our beloved piece of shit family heirloom car.

also, james and i just celebrated our first wedding anniversary, and we ate wedding cake that had been sitting in the freezer for a year. YUM! actually, it was better than i had expected. it still tasted like chocolate!

AAAANYWAY, that's pretty much all that's happened in the past 6 months, all that's worth mentioning, anyway. i'm going to attempt to keep this up by using the internet at friend's houses and stuff.

so, how have all of YOU been? i mean, the two or three people who just might actually be reading this?
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: james playing drums
23 January 2010 @ 10:16 am
when we came back to PA in november, i left my dad a message telling him we were home. he still hasn't called back.

i miss my dad.
Current Music: grizzly bear - shift
04 January 2010 @ 10:28 pm
i am so in love with grizzly bear right now. and i feel the need to shout it out from the rooftops. LOVE.
Current Mood: enthralledenthralled
Current Music: grizzly bear - cheerleader
26 December 2009 @ 11:41 pm
when i close my eyes i can still see tail lights and red lights and green lights and they're all reflected in the slick surface of the wet road. and buildings moving past. and white and yellow lines whizzing by like tape. and trees. branches. water flooding and pooling into the streets. the same water flying as mist off of the tires of the car in front of us. our headlights are so dim you can barely tell they're on. we ought to replace those bulbs.
Current Mood: swollen
Current Music: grizzly bear - two weeks
02 November 2009 @ 07:15 am
i seriously can't wait until we go back home. i truly love san diego, but that's nothing compared to my love for all my people back in PA. we're moving in with our friend melissa, who so graciously offered us her spare room. she's one of the coolest people i know, and i'm really looking forward to having her as a roommate. hopefully the new living arrangements will turn out to be as great as i think they will be. hell, anything's better than having a 74-year-old for a roomie!

was that too harsh? i don't care anymore. grandjean's really getting on my nerves. she's been trying to make us feel guilty for leaving, even though she KNOWS we've lost 2,000 dollars by being here. correct me if i'm wrong, but our responsibility as caregivers does not include being bled dry by some old lady, am i right? as newlyweds, we should be living our lives based on opportunity, not obligation. so, back east we go! i'm looking forward to working hard and building our savings back up. i'm almost glad that james' rich-as-hell dad has never taken any financial responsibility for his one and only son. i just wouldn't feel right having money that i didn't earn with my own hands. and james has a similar ourlook, having grown up scratching in the dirt like me.

we're wealthy where it counts. there are so many people back home that are excited to see us. we have the most wonderful family, and the greatest friends in the world! i wouldn't trade them for anything. i can't wait to see them all again.

but there is one thing that i'll REALLY miss. it's november, and it's going up to 88F today. bye, wonderful warm weather, i barely knew ye... *cries* :P
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: temple of the dog - hunger strike
29 October 2009 @ 10:17 am
we're gradually having less to do with grandjean's care, in order to get her used to caring for herself. it doesn't look very promising, and she'll probably have to go into a nursing home shortly after we leave. it's sad, but i almost wish that would happen before we left just so we could make sure she's ok. i hate to think of her falling and breaking a hip or something, with no one around to help. if that happens, she might be on the floor for days until someone else realized what happened. and i wish we could take her cat with us, instead of having him be adopted out to a stranger. but i know she won't let us take him, because she insists that she can take care of herself. but, it's out of our hands now.

also, it really sucks that i have to leave my job at sears. i really liked working there. oh well!
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: something i heard at work
29 October 2009 @ 12:00 am
things here haven't been working out. we've been losing money like crazy every week because this place is so expensive to live in. so, we're coming back to pennsylvania. a friend of ours has offered her spare room to us, so the living arrangement is taken care of. i don't think we failed, because we tried our very best in this situation. we gave it everything we had, literally.

we've lost about two thousand dollars living here. that's about two thirds of our life savings. it's going to take us forever to save that much again. it may not seem like a lot to some people, but to us it was huge. and there's no way to get it back, either. james' dad is the one who sent us out here, and he's sitting on tons of money. but he's decided that he has no responsibility to his son or anything. it's not like he's obligated to send us money, but he has so much and we have so little and isn't that the way family is supposed to work? i know my family would help us out if they could but we're all poor.

but i guess it doesn't matter. the important thing is that this has been a real learning experience. and, i finally got to see california. and, i miss all my people back home so much and i'm really excited to go back and see them all

the only thing is, it's so nice and sunny and warm here, and freezing in PA! *has a sad* :P
Current Location: 92020
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: the tonight show
22 September 2009 @ 10:23 pm
okay well, forget the melodrama from the last entry. there are good days, and there are bad days. that was written on a particularly bad day. and really, no matter how bad things may get, it can't change the fact that I LOVE SAN DIEGO. i just wish that i didn't have to be poor in san diego.

did i mention that granjean's car is being repossessed? oh, what the hell. we've only had access to it for a month. we're used to not having a car, anyway. but damn if it wasn't convenient..
20 September 2009 @ 01:16 am
so, we spent the first half of august in south carolina/georgia with james' dad. it was pretty awesome. we played at some open mics and were well received, saw lots of crazy nature(as in freaking ALLIGATORS in the river) and bugs, got fat from eating out almost every night(hehe.. "eating out".. heh.. i'm such a tard), and got driver licenses. all in all, a fabulous vacation.

then, on august 18th, we flew on over to san diego! it was my first time on a plane, and i LOVED IT. especially the taking off/landing. it's like an ultimate rollercoaster! awesome! and then, we arrived at james' grandmother's (who will from now on be referred to as 'granjean') home. all of a sudden, it was not so awesome.

as i said, we arrived, only to discover a ridiculous mess. there were boxes everywhere, the kitchen was a mess, everything was in a state of general disarray. she showed us to our room, where there were two twin beds with boxes piled on top, some bedding haphazardly thrown on there, and cat puke on the pillows. please bear in mind that it was 11pm, meaning that it felt like 2am to us. and after flying all day, we were exhausted beyond belief. but we found some clean bedding, pushed the beds together, and finally SLEPT.

next day, we cleaned the place up, explored our new town, and felt a little better about things. spending some time in the california sun has a profound, uplifting effect on the mood.

so, fast forward a week or two. i found a job at sears working in the shoe department, and i really like it. we're lucky in this respect, because jobs are incredibly scarce around here. things seemed to be going well with granjean. she's a very nice lady. it looked like we were going to be able to get her on a proper sleeping schedule, get her to take all her pills(quite a bit, mind you) and maybe even gradually start to improve her health. things are going great!

fast forward to RIGHT NOW. it turns out that granjean's been lying to us about what her doctors say to her. she's omitting things, and sometimes she'll decide that a doctor's order was really just some optional advice. and i'm starting to suspect that she's been throwing her pills away instead of taking them, because i haven't seen any improvement in her health since we started organizing her meds and making sure she's taking the right ones at the right times. also, she's still staying up until 2-3 in the morning and sleeping past noon. some people might not see why that's such a big deal, but waking up so late makes her disoriented for the rest of the day because she'll get up at 12:30 but think it's early in the morning. also, she's not supposed to drive but the other night she took the car out without telling us.

what does all this mean? she might need to go to a nursing home sooner than we thought. which means we're fucking screwed. james has been applying everywhere, but they all keep telling him they're not hiring. i'm working part-time at minimum wage. we can't support ourselves on that. the cost of living around here is IMPOSSIBLE. and i don't use that word very often. on our income right now, we could maybe afford half the monthly rent on a one-bedroom apartment. we've already been forced to spend almost half of our savings on essential things because we had no other source of income and we're basically paying for all the groceries and gas and stuff.

i have always had some sort of backup plan. but not now. i have no idea what we're going to do.

i've already looked into housing assistance. they are no longer accepting applications, as there is already a six-year waiting list. we have no options.

other than going to live with james' dad, and i'm not even sure if that is an option.

but then again, maybe it's not all bad. i totally just saw a documentary on patagonia, argentina narrated by none other than alan "sexy voice delivered from GOD" rickman.

but seriously! fucking fuck in the suckhole FUCK!
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: late-night infomercials
15 August 2009 @ 03:21 pm
okay, here's what's happening (WHAT'S HAPPENING!) on y100.. sorry, a little philly humor... i still miss that radio station, by the way...


so james and i have been in south carolina for about two weeks, visiting with his dad and stepmom. it's been pretty great, we've seen a lot of cool things, went fishing, eaten lots of delicious food, and whatnot.

and i have to interrupt myself because james just got out of the shower and he's shaven off most of his beard! *mourns the loss* i love his big unruly beard.. hey, spellcheck says that "shaven" isn't a word. is that true? i'm totally using it anyway because it should be.

now then.

we're leaving for california on the 18th, and i'm just a little nervous about the whole thing. there are a bunch of financial issues going on that i don't feel at liberty to discuss here, because it's someone else's business but i really hope this whole thing works out. and i really hope we can find jobs in a timely manner, what with the unemployment situation over there. we have nothing else to fall back on, and it's not like anyone else is in a position to help us.

but then again, james and i were both born poor and we've been scratching and surviving our whole lives. if we're anything like our moms, we'll get through it.
Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Current Music: david gilmour
11 July 2009 @ 08:24 am
i never thought i'd be able to say this, but my life is changing completely. our last day of work was yesterday. most of my brain still doesn't quite believe that i won't be back at the nursing home on monday, toiling away as always. but it's true, that chapter in my life is closed.

WOOHOO!!! *jumps around all crazy-like*

*ahem* and in three weeks, we're leaving pennsylvania. first, we're going to south carolina to stay with james' dad for a few weeks. then, we're headed out to california! james and i have been offered to stay at his grandmother's house, rent free, in exchange for helping her out with keeping the house clean, cooking meals, etc. we'll be living just outside of san diego.

i've barely been anywhere in my life, and now i'm going across the country! this is turning out to be a truly amazing summer.
Current Location: 19446
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: fur
20 May 2009 @ 09:40 am
the wedding was awesome. it was everything i wanted it to be. the ceremony (read: the boring part) was simple and short, and all my friends and family were there. everyone brought awesome food (and i'm still eating the leftovers, thanks guys!). everyone got to see james and i play our music. it was really awesome seeing our different groups of friends mingling with each other, and also with our families. i was really hoping everyone would get along, and apparently we have really cool friends and family, because everywhere i looked, people were having conversations with people that they had either never met before, or only had the smallest of acquaintances with. pictures will be posted as soon as i find a good free image hosting site (help?) and as soon as i feel like doing it. :P
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: the decemberists - won't want for love
10 May 2009 @ 05:11 pm
i am getting married in 5 days. i'm not nervous, i'm just really excited. it's not like things will change, james and i have been living together for four and a half years now. we've basically been married for about as long. but somehow this just makes it feel more... official? is that the word i'm looking for?

i'm not changing my name, though. i deliberated over that for months. he's made it clear that it's totally up to me, since it's my name. he seemed relieved though, when i told him my decision. he said he felt that since our relationship is equal in every way, it wouldn't make sense for me to give up my name/identity and assume his. i'm proud of being a gaston, and i don't want to give that up. our kids will be gaston-garvin. our names are so similar, how cool is that?

we're having trouble finding a place to stay in austin. it would be so much easier if we knew someone there. i want to get out of pennsylvania so badly... it's hard, being poor and trying to live in one of the most expensive areas of the country. we have decent-paying jobs and yet we can barely make ends meet. the average rent for a one-bedroom apartment around here is $850-$1,000 per month, unless i want to live in a shitty place above a bar. and since the fire, i've been reluctant about that, to say the least. all i want is to work a regular job and live in a small, affordable apartment with my james. since when is that too much to ask for? my needs are simple. i'm worried. the lease expires on june 30th, and if we don't have a place lined up by then, we're homeless.
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: pete rock & c.l. smooth - all the places
20 March 2009 @ 08:13 pm
so. today, it was 32 degrees and snowing.

on the first day of spring.

pennsylvania = epic fail.
Current Mood: sillysilly
Current Music: gogol bordello - tribal connection
16 March 2009 @ 06:03 am
i've been feeling my wisdom teeth cutting into my gums again. it hurts like a bitch. i can't afford dental insurance. or any insurance, for that matter. being poor sucks. also, i think i've been grinding my teeth in my sleep. sometimes i'll wake up because i can hear these loud scraping noises. and i'm pretty sure they're coming from my mouth. ow. motherfucker. have i mentioned that i've also been getting hives on my face lately? time to leave for work, but i wish more than anything that i could go back to bed.
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Current Music: nbc news
mom says i'm part gypsy. i'm convinced that this is why i'm so good at being invisible. i also tend to refer to myself in the plural a lot, but that has nothing to do with the aforementioned romanian blood. and i can't hear regine chassagne's voice without crying.

wow, what an update. i can never think of anything to write anymore. even though a lot is going on in my life right now, something in my head is holding me back from just putting it all out there. problems with housemates, james and i are literally getting sick of our jobs, and we're all exhausted all the time. are you guys exhausted too? everybody i know seems so tired right now.

we need california. i've never even been there, and yet i'm longing for it. i think i'm catching that energy from james. he misses his home place. i'm sick of pennsylvania digging it's claws into me. i was born here and i haven't left yet.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: nbc news
Two Names You Go By Other Than Your Own:
1. i don't think i have any...
2. actually my family used to call me bitsy

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. led zeppelin t-shirt
2. green pajama pants

Two Things You Want Very Badly At the Moment:
1. a camera
2. something to eat that involves crappy fake cheese and bacon bits.

Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. watched 30 rock with james
2. indulged in the ganja

Two Things You Ate Yesterday:
1. guacamole with crackers because i didn't have any chips
2. chicken cutlets with mashed potatoes and peas

Two People You Last Talked To:
1. james
2. james' mom

Two Things You're Doing Tomorrow:
1. band practice
2. most likely going out to breakfast with james

Two Longest Car Rides:
1. pennsylvania to new hampshire (8 hours)
2. pennsylvania to washington, d.c. last weekend! (4.5 hours)

Favorite Vacations:
1. i've only been on one vacation (to new hampshire) and it sucked.
2. see above

Two Favorite Beverages:
1. water
2. Naked juice, specifically green machine

New Years Resolutions:
1. save lots of money
2. eat well
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: the fugees - how many mics
20 December 2008 @ 03:32 pm
ah, winter. i love it. yes, i know it doesn't technically start until tomorrow. but around here, winter begins in late october. and doesn't let up until early april. but i digress. everything is covered in a layer of ice! it's dangerous but it's so beautiful! the trees look all magical and sparkly... the cold is so cleansing. i don't know how to describe the way it feels. i love this season. and everyone seems to hate winter. because of the cold! seriously, is it that hard to deal with? come on, with winter we get snow and holidays and that warm, cozy feeling when you're all wrapped up in blankets watching movies.. i just love it!!
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: led zeppelin - wanton song
05 December 2008 @ 03:44 pm
OH SHIT i just realized i haven't posted in forever. i forgot to... i'm seriously still kind of in awe that i have a group of friends and a normal social life. i'm so used to being a recluse. and i never thought i could love other people in such a profound way. but they're so beautiful. sometimes it hurts my eyes. sometimes my feelings get too strong and confuse me. and james. but yes. driving around aimlessly while chain-smoking and talking about everything in the universe? my kind of perfect night. i love everybody in the world.
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
Current Music: the fugees - killing me softly with his song
04 November 2008 @ 11:23 pm

-laura and i saw and took pictures of a HUGE gathering of geese

-i voted

-i carved pumpkins with james and josh

-i made the best guacamole ever



we have it. we're a part of history.
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: the shins - new slang
19 October 2008 @ 09:09 am
sunday morning. i have a massive headache from smoking way too many cigarettes and not drinking enough water last night. it feels good, in a way. i'm awake in a sea of sleeping bodies. i always wake up before anyone else. i like it that way. what an amazingly awesome weekend.
Current Mood: impressedimpressed
Current Music: arcade fire - wake up
14 October 2008 @ 02:06 am
i have the greatest friends in the world.
we all fit together in a perfect way.
we were separated at birth.
Current Mood: vast
Current Music: bob dylan
06 October 2008 @ 05:39 am
yes, yes i know i never post anymore. but i have a social life. and there's nothing really to write about. i still look at my friends page. it's just that internet isn't as important to me as real life. so, if you miss me (and i doubt you do), oh well.
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: giant sand - black venetian blinds
23 September 2008 @ 06:03 am
i woke up today in a cold sweat. but as soon as i realized i was awake, i completely forgot the dream. but i still felt weird.

"if we had stocks and houses, we'd be poor as us right now"
-james :P
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: the doors - the crystal ship
19 September 2008 @ 04:08 pm
happy talk like a pirate day, everyone! as if we need a special day as an excuse.. :P
Current Mood: chill
Current Music: lauryn hill - doo wop (that thing)
16 September 2008 @ 09:14 am
good morning, y'all.

good morning.
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: bob dylan - ballad of a thin man
16 September 2008 @ 07:57 am
talked to rob last night, everything's cool. i knew it would be. he and i get along way too well for something like this to mess up our friendship. we ended up hanging out for a few hours. once we start talking, it's hard to stop. now that i think about it, it feels more natural for us to just be friends and nothing more. we still kinda like each other but it's hard to explain. kissing him that time was nice but i can live without it. heh, it's not like i'm not getting any at home (love you james). all in all, i'm really glad everything is more or less back to normal.
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Current Music: bob dylan - she belongs to me
15 September 2008 @ 05:24 am
ok. so i'm planning to sort all this shit out with rob today, while james talks to laura. it's amazing how much your mind can change after taking 24 hours to think about it. we all just started feeling weird. well, i know laura and i did, and i'm pretty sure rob did. and james felt weird because everyone else did. i think i was just too excited about being excited that i forgot to think about if i really wanted something new or different. so, back to normal. i have to say, what a relief.
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: nbc news
14 September 2008 @ 05:23 pm
eh, maybe james and i got in a bit over our heads.. we got too excited about our friends and forgot to think about the future and how things go wrong. nothing's wrong between us, so i think it would be best to just go back to normal. we love each other too much to fuck this up. ah well, the whole thing was fun to think about, but we just didn't think it through. i just hope shit doesn't get too weird between us and our friends. i don't think it will, as long as we're all just honest with each other.
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: de la soul - eye know
13 September 2008 @ 04:01 pm
i kissed someone who isn't james the other night. but it's okay. he kissed someone who isn't me. and that's fine with us. i had an idea in the back of my mind that something like this would happen eventually. it's exciting. what happens next? we shall see.

i want to go run around in the woods. and go boulder-hopping. and find spiders as big as my hand. and little black snakes.

and he's so damn easy to talk to.
Current Mood: chill
Current Music: digable planets - dog it
11 September 2008 @ 05:28 am
my back went out yesterday. i woke up today in tears. i don't know how i'm going to make it at work today. but i have to go. i called out last week because of (another!) kidney infection. man, it's always something with me, isn't it? it's okay when i'm standing up straight, but my job requires a lot of bending and twisting. and pushing that big stupid heavy cart. ugh. so i'm armed with ibuprofen and a heating pad.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: nbc news
08 September 2008 @ 05:14 pm
i've been thinking a lot about a certain someone lately. is that safe? james and i both understand that having crushes on people other than each other is normal and healthy. but then, i suppose he thinks about his certain someone as often as i think about mine. funny thing is, i get excited when he talks about liking her. and he gets excited when i talk about him. the other him. and the sex has never been better. nothing really happens outside of the relationship. so it's a good thing? i'm not jealous, and neither is james. nobody could steal us away from each other. we're tight. it's just human nature to fuck around.
Current Mood: sexy
Current Music: gang starr - love sick
04 September 2008 @ 05:23 am
going to work today is going to be crapola. it feels like molten lead in my kidney. and my bladder. and pretty much everything else down there. but i can't call out because the phillies are visiting the old people today, and the building has to look good. stupid baseball team... they aren't even very good! ah well. my work pants are squeezing me in all the wrong places..
Current Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
Current Music: jay-z
03 September 2008 @ 11:27 am
i love my green tree frogs. they're neat. enid is 1.5 inches long and her color ranges from light green to dappled very dark green. she's an excellent hunter, and her favorite place is either on top of her bonsai tree, or hiding underneath. eddie's about an inch long, and his color ranges from medium dark green to almost brown. he's crazy. he got out once and leaped halfway across the room in one jump! his favorite places to sit are on the heating pad, and in the water dish. he also likes being under the bonsai tree with enid. ^_^ they're friends, but i've never seen them mate. i'd probably have to be up around 3am to see that.
Current Mood: chill
Current Music: mos def, q-tip & tash - body rock